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My friends were being asked, but no one had the guts to ask me yet.
I was terrified someone was going to come up to me and ask the question. I knew that regardless of whether or not I was ready, I was either going to have to come out or lie to people and say I was straight. I had obviously trusted the wrong person. It was someone I had trusted with the information that I was gay and knew I was not out. I started hearing that people outside of the team heard I was gay. I was a freshman high school football player in the closet at Metea Valley High School in Aurora, Illinois, and learned that someone was going to out me. Last year as a freshman in high school, exactly two weeks before the season ended, I was faced with the reality that football might be quitting me. Beth Ebel MadiolĮvery year since first grade I wanted to quit football by the last two weeks of the season. Jake Streder (60) with his Metea Valley High School teammates. Their embrace of me was something I never expected after a year of anxiety and struggle of coming to terms with being gay. I am not the gay guy - I’m just a football player. It was worth it to get to this point with my teammates that I was just one of the guys. Soon it was the whole team and I felt all the fear and anxiety I dealt with in the last year melt away. I was apprehensive and hoped a couple of them wouldn’t mind. I had never had an actual verbal conversation with any of my teammates about me being gay. I figured that just sending a text in our team group chat would be the best way to ask. I get it and understand that with maturity comes the realization that gay isn’t contagious. There is absolutely a “gay by association” phobia in high school and it’s a big unspoken thing. I don’t really hang out with guy friends. Though I am on the team, it’s still a bit awkward when you are a 15-year-old gay guy. As I was writing this story, I knew that I had to get some photos of me playing football and ask my teammates if any of them would be in a picture with me.